The Marvelous Misadventures of Magnus the Magnificent Warlock
by Boadicea.Thorsdottir
Summary: Just a bunch of random crazy stuff that Magnus puts everyone through with his usual antics! May or may not be fluffy at parts, just because I love Malec! Rated T because I'm paranoid and we know this crowd, there will be language!


**Disclaimer: These characters are NOT MINE! If they were, Jace would be forbidden from wearing shirts for eternity!**

**This is the first chapter of possibly many more, just a bunch of crack-fic random one shots of crazy stuff that we all know Magnus does on occasion (Ok, maybe more often than that).**

* * *

"Magnus, this _really_ isn't a good idea." Alec again tried to reason with his boyfriend.

Magnus looked up at Alec in annoyance. "You doubt my magnificent abilities, Darling?"

The Shadowhunter quickly went to make peace. The warlock had not been in the best mood lately since Ragnor Fell had refused to smuggle him back into Peru, and Alec had quickly learned that a pissed off Magnus was not a pleasant Magnus. In fact, a pissed off Magnus was best avoided. _At all costs._

"Of course not, baby. I'm just concerned, because last time you tried this spell-"

"I know, I know." The Warlock grumbled moodily. "Your dear, pain in _my_ ass, arrogant brother got turned into a Ferret. So not my fault. It wasn't by _my _error that he got in the way."

"Be glad he did. I imagine if it had been Clary had been turned into such a vile creature Jace would've killed you. And I mean this quite literally. He has a place to stash bodies, you know."

"You are about as bad at keeping secrets as our dear old Bane is, Alexander." Jace remarked as he suddenly entered the room with the rest of the gang (including one extra-grumpy blue-grey Persian) hot on his heels.

Magnus opened his mouth to comment on the lack of warning of their arrival, but quickly closed it on account that he had no room to talk in such a scenario.

~Approximately Twenty Minutes Later~

Magnus stood in shock as he took in what he'd done. Where an assortment of teenagers had been standing there was now a group of unhappy felines.

They were all pretty easy to identify. There was Jace, ever irritable Jace, glaring at him through brand-new golden cat eyes with fur of the same color angrily puffed out around him. Then Clary, a tiny little carrot-colored thing pawing at the stereotypically haughty Himalayan in an attempt to calm him down. The Lightwoods were both Tuxedos, Izzy's calico-like spots and Alec's fluffier tail telling them apart. Poor Simon looked like a stray- a straggly mess of chestnut fur clinging to Isabelle's side for dear life.

Magnus quickly called Catarina, convinced she could help out. He watched Church and Chairman Meow seem to enjoy the group's new-found misery as he waited for his friend (and often chaperone- She and Ragnor never let him go anywhere without one these days) to pick up.

The Warlock cursed as it went to voicemail and left a hurried message about cats and the possibility of having broken the Accords.

He eyed Jace warily as the cat began yowling at the absolute top of his lungs, keeping angry toffee-colored eyes trained on him.

"Uhm…Nice Kitty?"

After about five minutes of one-sided conversation Magnus decided that he'd had enough and turned _himself_ into a cat.

This particular feline was so obviously Magnus that it almost could instill doubt that it was him at all. He was a bright Magenta color with a hot pink underbelly and blue points (not grey-blue like on a natural cat, _blue_). He even had tiger stripes. And WINGS.

"That," Simon pointed out over the sound of Jace's string of various creative curses, "Is SO not fair. Why do _you_ get wings?! This is your fault to begin with!"

"Well, Stuart dear," the Warlock said, cutting off Simon's protests about having gotten his name wrong again, "that would be because my change was intentional. You, on the other hand, were an unfortunate accident."

"Haha," Jace suddenly laughed, "Accident."

Clary reached up to bat Jace in the face with a furry paw.

"What in the name of the Angel was that for?!" he yowled in disbelief.

"Don't encourage him!" came the hissed reply.

Alec didn't bother coming to Magnus's defense in this because, after all, Clary had a point. Encouragement was one thing the Warlock did _not_ need. Instead, he simply padded over and snuggled into his side. Izzy remained in her own little world, grooming herself attentively.

Meanwhile, high up on a bookshelf, sat Chairman Meow and Church. Both cats were laughing amongst themselves as they watched the chaos unfold below them.

"Silly people," the Chairman chuckled. "You would think they'd know by now to avoid the Warlock when he's dead set on turning his green friend into a donkey."

Church lofted a curious eyebrow a curious eyebrow. "He apparently refused to take my Warlock to Peru. My Warlock calls it Poetic Justice, turning his friend into a donkey for it." Chairman explained

The blue-grey Persian laughed heartily. It was definatly something Magnus would do. And as Fell would most likely be warded against such petty magic it would also make sense that the magic bounced off and turned everyone into cats instead.

"Wait…" Alec, ever the sensible one, started.

"Yes, darling?"

"How are we going to get back? You don't exactly have opposable thumbs to snap with anymore…"

This earned various responses for everyone, but the most noticeable was the return of yowled curses from the gold Himalayan.

Catarina chose this time to show up and had it not been for the frayed nerves of everyone in attendance, her initial reaction would've been almost comical.

"Oh, Magnus…" she sighed deeply. "What are we going to do with you?"

He purred, rubbing against her legs. "Love me!" the Warlock chirped, earning more than one eye-roll.

Eventually they were all turned back and happily settled into humanoid bodies, but not before Jace catapulted himself at Magnus and tried to beat him to a bloody pulp and Simon repeatedly reminded everyone how much he hated cats.


End file.
